Getting to 30: Week Four

At last, Week Four. It starts out pretty much the same as last week. I'm tracking my points. Doing my recovery readings or podcasts. Getting in my exercise and meeting my daily steps goals. I've hit my rhythm and it feels good.

Day 29: brother and I go to a "Loud n Proud" Launch party at Columbus Museum of Art, where we are given 2 drink tickets immediately. Now here, it really does look like everyone has a drink in their hand! And a very tiny part of me is like "Damn, no wine for me... and it's free!" Though I know I am not going to give in. Partly because I am with my brother and he knows what I am doing with sobriety and I could not disappoint him or myself. But I also marvel that I do not have the same type of craving that hit me the previous week. Which is odd. Because this is definitely the type of event where I would have loved a glass of wine, feeling so sophisticated... It is a crisp fall evening, the museum is open after-hours, folks are dressed up a bit, servers mingle with yummy appetizers. So Brother and I walk around, catching bits of conversation, watching artists paint real time. We run into his colleague and chat for a bit. And I leave after an hour... I've seen all there is to see--it's really just people drinking and  mingling. And I realize that I've had my fill. Time to carry on with my evening.

Day 30: I get my 1 month notice on my Sober app. And even though I know I am at day 30, to receive that notification really moves me in a way I am not expecting. I did it-- a full 30 days without a single drop. It has been a while since that happened, likely last Fall if I am remembering correctly. And I consider the Saturday I have planned out for myself: a hair appointment, a manicure, and a little shopping for a conference I'm attending in Pittsburgh next week. What a wonderful way to celebrate--a day full of self-care and pampering. I get to the store and fit into a smaller size dress and shirt than the last time I went shopping--a lot can change in 30 days. I head on to the nail salon, where I am offered free wine... <sigh>. Twice this week I have been presented with free alcohol, which admittedly has been frustrating: free booze thrown at me two days in a row--what's this about?!

Eckhart Tolle says the universe will give us whatever experience we need to help the evolution of our consciousness; how do we know this is the experience we need? Because this is the one we are having. So I think OK, I hear ya: it's just another opportunity to flex my resolve. To practice making that conscious choice to move towards health and wellness. And I seriously consider a glass of wine, but not consider in the sense of actually having a drink, but in the sense of, "wow, would I really want to be "that girl" drinking mid-afternoon at a nail salon where I am clearly alone?" And I know that others would have accepted the offer and it would seem like a completely natural response. But for me, the gig is up. I've heard it said ignorance is bliss only if there are no solutions or alternatives, and I think it applies in this situation. When it comes to alcohol, there is no more ignorance.

One last gift to me: flowers. Hello again, 30 Days.